No matter who I talk to, everyone is dealing with some kind of loss during the COVID-19 pandemic—whether it be a graduation, a career, celebrating the birth of a baby, or saying good bye to a loved one. For me, it was postponing my destination wedding and shifting plans to get married in a local park. When searching for some piece of advice from other brides about their wedding experience during this time, I wasn’t able to find anything. So, I decided to write about my experience of getting married in a pandemic. To those who are currently shifting their plans for a major life event, I hope this helps you look past the little details and remember the true meaning of your celebration.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of my future wedding. Not obsessively, but always with wonder. Who will my future husband be? What will my dress look like? Where will the wedding be? Who will my bridesmaids be? And this all came out through playing Barbies with my sister where Barbie and Ken would have countless weddings playing out different scenarios in our heads. Later in life, my mom told me of an acquaintance we knew who got married on the beach in Mexico, and from that moment on one of my questions was answered. My future wedding would be on the beach in Mexico.
Fast-forward to dating Richard, my now husband. As the topic of marriage became more of a thing in our relationship, I pitched the idea of Mexico to him and he immediately agreed. It just seemed right. When Richard proposed to me, we already knew it would be a destination wedding.
We set the date for May 2, 2020 at the perfect resort in Mexico, with a honeymoon booked at another resort down the coastline. Close friends and immediate family booked their trips, I had found my dress, and all other wedding plans were going smoothly. As we got closer to the wedding, more and more tasks and decisions needed to be made, and the stress started to build (as I’m sure many brides can relate). But regardless, we were so excited for the perfect wedding day, and an amazing vacation.
In just one week, we went from confirming guest meals and building playlists, to completely postponing the wedding. Having to set feelings aside, I worked closely with our travel agent to navigate the muddy waters of moving travel plans for 30+ people, while keeping clear communications with our worried wedding guests. Postponing our wedding also included all the wedding celebrations leading up to the big day including my bridal shower, my stagette, and Richard’s stag. We were devastated, but needed to stay strong as we knew people’s health and money was a much bigger priority than our fancy party.
Although we were able postpone our Mexico celebrations until May 2021, Richard and I decided that no world pandemic would stop us from getting married on the day we wanted our major life milestone to occur. We shifted wedding plans to get married in the park by the river down the street from our home where immediate family could watch while social distancing.
I won’t sugarcoat it and say that all we needed to do was stay positive; mid-March to end of April was an emotional roller coaster and by the end of it we were really sick of hearing people tell us to look at the bright side. It was hard not to think of what was taken from us—what we felt was our right-of-passage. To be honest, I still haven’t fully accepted it. There were so many times we wondered if this was the right choice, or if we should just wait one more year for everything to be perfect. But, we always came back to the same conclusion that regardless of the location or situation, Richard and I just wanted to be married.
However, after the emotional roller coaster we had been through for the past month, Richard’s haircut was the last straw for me. The night before my wedding I called my sister and cried. Rather than being on the beach with a celebratory drink with my bridesmaids, friends, and family, as I pictured, I was at home with Richard and our roommate and best man, Eric, like any other typical night.
Richard eventually came up stairs to check on me and found me curled up in a ball on our bed with tears in my eyes. Being the amazing man he is, he joked about the situation, made me laugh, then got me up to join him and Eric for steaks and a drink to celebrate. With a different perspective, we made this an exciting, fun night, because despite everything that’s what it was.
For a bride, the morning of your wedding is a time to celebrate with your bridesmaids, have fun getting ready, take photos together, and sip champagne. On the morning of my wedding, I got ready in my bedroom by myself. After doing my own hair, makeup, and gluing on my drugstore nails, my mom came over to help me put on my dress (yes, I was not going to let that dress go to waste!) and put on the final touches.
When I was ready to go, Richard’s first look at me had to be in our bedroom, rather than down the isle, because we had to drive together to the park due to social distancing restrictions. My mom stood behind me, snapped a quick picture, then ran off so we could have a moment. I grabbed my bouquet, which was fake roses originally going to be one of my bridesmaid’s for Mexico, and put a matching boutonniere on Richard, originally intended for my bridesman. We then headed downstairs to show my dad and Eric before leaving to meet the rest of the family.
When we reached our spot, a small peninsula beside the river off of the main path, our families and the commissioner all stood six feet a part. The sun was shining (it was actually a really nice day out for May 2) and the birds were chirping. My parents couldn’t walk me down the isle as I needed to maintain distance from them, so Richard and I just turned towards each other, held hands, and the ceremony began.
This is a moment I will never forget, and one that is surprisingly not talked about in any wedding blog I have ever read but it is really the most important. In that moment, it was just Richard and I staring into each other’s eyes and saying our vows. There was a type of euphoria in this moment, a feeling of love you have for one another, committing to one another, that I would have never known until experiencing it; but damn… it was amazing. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it were on the beach in Mexico or beside the river in Calgary, I think the feeling would have been the same.
Following the ceremony were photos. Since we were only allowed a gathering of 15 people due to government restrictions, and had just 15 people with family, the commissioner, Eric, and us, we were unfortunately unable to have a photographer join us. Thankfully my brother-in-law, Kevin, had experience taking wedding photos and volunteered to help. At times this was interesting with people having to social distance in photos, and for Kevin to be included in the photos, but in the end I think this all added to experience and will help to show it in our memories.
After the photos, we could hear music blasting from our wedding playlist as we walked back to our truck in the parking lot. There, we saw my parents and my sister parked beside our truck that they decorated for us. This may seem like a small thing, but it meant the world to us that they did this extra thing to make the day special. Driving out of the park and in the community, we honked our horn and waved at people to let them know we just got married!
Following the reception, we went to our house for round two where we found our kitchen table redecorated as a sweetheart table to enjoy our wedding day dinner together. For the remainder of the evening, we hung out with Eric and three other close friends we were okay to be in close proximity with for margaritas and celebrations. As going to a hotel was out of the question, Richard and I spent our wedding night at our house in our own bed.
And yes, attitude really does matter! But, it is okay to have your moments, to cry and be angry at the world (especially when something completely out of your control brings all your plans, hopes, and dreams to a halt), and to think about how life is not fair. What got me through those moments was remembering that my family and friends have their health, and that we aren’t losing our marriage, just the fancy party which we will still get one year from now when it’s hopefully safe to travel. Perspective is key!
This was definitely not your traditional wedding day, but come to think it, Richard and I aren’t traditional people. The day was still amazing regardless of all of these things that did not go as originally hoped. There were so many people that just wanted to celebrate us and went out of their way to make the day special or be there for moral support. To those reading this, you know who you are, and thank you!
Not many people can say they got married during a pandemic when the world was shut down, which makes our story even more unique and shows the strength of our love and commitment to each other. Now that the emotional rollercoaster is over, Richard and I are in sheer bliss as newly weds and happier than ever as Mr. & Mrs. Myers.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of my future wedding. Not obsessively, but always with wonder. Who will my future husband be? What will my dress look like? Where will the wedding be? Who will my bridesmaids be? And this all came out through playing Barbies with my sister where Barbie and Ken would have countless weddings playing out different scenarios in our heads. Later in life, my mom told me of an acquaintance we knew who got married on the beach in Mexico, and from that moment on one of my questions was answered. My future wedding would be on the beach in Mexico.
Fast-forward to dating Richard, my now husband. As the topic of marriage became more of a thing in our relationship, I pitched the idea of Mexico to him and he immediately agreed. It just seemed right. When Richard proposed to me, we already knew it would be a destination wedding.
We set the date for May 2, 2020 at the perfect resort in Mexico, with a honeymoon booked at another resort down the coastline. Close friends and immediate family booked their trips, I had found my dress, and all other wedding plans were going smoothly. As we got closer to the wedding, more and more tasks and decisions needed to be made, and the stress started to build (as I’m sure many brides can relate). But regardless, we were so excited for the perfect wedding day, and an amazing vacation.
Planning a wedding in a pandemic
In early March, just under two months before the wedding, we were hit with a curveball that no one, no wedding blogs, or no wedding planner could have prepared us for: the COVID-19 world pandemic. As everyone reading this likely knows, this was nothing like previous world pandemics in our lifetime—the world literally shut down. Flights were cancelled, country borders were closed, Canadians were called home, major events were cancelled, and public gathering restrictions were set. This was not good news for those planning a wedding, let alone a destination wedding.In just one week, we went from confirming guest meals and building playlists, to completely postponing the wedding. Having to set feelings aside, I worked closely with our travel agent to navigate the muddy waters of moving travel plans for 30+ people, while keeping clear communications with our worried wedding guests. Postponing our wedding also included all the wedding celebrations leading up to the big day including my bridal shower, my stagette, and Richard’s stag. We were devastated, but needed to stay strong as we knew people’s health and money was a much bigger priority than our fancy party.
Although we were able postpone our Mexico celebrations until May 2021, Richard and I decided that no world pandemic would stop us from getting married on the day we wanted our major life milestone to occur. We shifted wedding plans to get married in the park by the river down the street from our home where immediate family could watch while social distancing.
I won’t sugarcoat it and say that all we needed to do was stay positive; mid-March to end of April was an emotional roller coaster and by the end of it we were really sick of hearing people tell us to look at the bright side. It was hard not to think of what was taken from us—what we felt was our right-of-passage. To be honest, I still haven’t fully accepted it. There were so many times we wondered if this was the right choice, or if we should just wait one more year for everything to be perfect. But, we always came back to the same conclusion that regardless of the location or situation, Richard and I just wanted to be married.
The night before the wedding
Since mid-March, all hair salons were closed and Richard’s hair had become overgrown. I kept on putting it off until the night before the wedding when Richard let me know we needed to do something about it. Having never cut hair besides my own bangs, this quickly turned into a chop job. After almost 10 years of me convincing Richard to not shave his hair, my pandemic haircut attempt resulted in a shaved head the night before we got married. We also needed to get his outfit ready; Richard was not going to wear his original beach outfit that we picked out, so he tried on his dress clothes. Over the past year, Richard had lost quite a bit of weight, which we quickly noticed as all his dress clothes were baggy and didn’t fit him well. With a DIY head shave and baggy clothes, this was not quite how I pictured my groom done up for the wedding. But like everything, we had to make the best of it.However, after the emotional roller coaster we had been through for the past month, Richard’s haircut was the last straw for me. The night before my wedding I called my sister and cried. Rather than being on the beach with a celebratory drink with my bridesmaids, friends, and family, as I pictured, I was at home with Richard and our roommate and best man, Eric, like any other typical night.
Richard eventually came up stairs to check on me and found me curled up in a ball on our bed with tears in my eyes. Being the amazing man he is, he joked about the situation, made me laugh, then got me up to join him and Eric for steaks and a drink to celebrate. With a different perspective, we made this an exciting, fun night, because despite everything that’s what it was.
The wedding morning
On the morning of the wedding day, I quickly learned why you don’t get ready in the same area as your husband-to-be and why you need your bridesmaids there to help calm your nerves. I woke up that morning feeling really anxious and can’t really describe why other than I had a lot on my mind getting married in a pandemic and all.For a bride, the morning of your wedding is a time to celebrate with your bridesmaids, have fun getting ready, take photos together, and sip champagne. On the morning of my wedding, I got ready in my bedroom by myself. After doing my own hair, makeup, and gluing on my drugstore nails, my mom came over to help me put on my dress (yes, I was not going to let that dress go to waste!) and put on the final touches.
When I was ready to go, Richard’s first look at me had to be in our bedroom, rather than down the isle, because we had to drive together to the park due to social distancing restrictions. My mom stood behind me, snapped a quick picture, then ran off so we could have a moment. I grabbed my bouquet, which was fake roses originally going to be one of my bridesmaid’s for Mexico, and put a matching boutonniere on Richard, originally intended for my bridesman. We then headed downstairs to show my dad and Eric before leaving to meet the rest of the family.
The wedding ceremony
We met the commissioner and our family in the parking lot then walked together to the location Richard and I scouted out a few days before. We caught a lot of eyes on a walk with everyone saying “congratulations” with amazement in their eyes that two people were actually crazy enough to get married in a pandemic.When we reached our spot, a small peninsula beside the river off of the main path, our families and the commissioner all stood six feet a part. The sun was shining (it was actually a really nice day out for May 2) and the birds were chirping. My parents couldn’t walk me down the isle as I needed to maintain distance from them, so Richard and I just turned towards each other, held hands, and the ceremony began.
This is a moment I will never forget, and one that is surprisingly not talked about in any wedding blog I have ever read but it is really the most important. In that moment, it was just Richard and I staring into each other’s eyes and saying our vows. There was a type of euphoria in this moment, a feeling of love you have for one another, committing to one another, that I would have never known until experiencing it; but damn… it was amazing. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it were on the beach in Mexico or beside the river in Calgary, I think the feeling would have been the same.
Following the ceremony were photos. Since we were only allowed a gathering of 15 people due to government restrictions, and had just 15 people with family, the commissioner, Eric, and us, we were unfortunately unable to have a photographer join us. Thankfully my brother-in-law, Kevin, had experience taking wedding photos and volunteered to help. At times this was interesting with people having to social distance in photos, and for Kevin to be included in the photos, but in the end I think this all added to experience and will help to show it in our memories.
After the photos, we could hear music blasting from our wedding playlist as we walked back to our truck in the parking lot. There, we saw my parents and my sister parked beside our truck that they decorated for us. This may seem like a small thing, but it meant the world to us that they did this extra thing to make the day special. Driving out of the park and in the community, we honked our horn and waved at people to let them know we just got married!
The reception
To have somewhat of a celebration afterwards, Richard’s brother and sister-in-law hosted everyone in their backyard, which has a beautiful view of the river and the city. We had expected a few lawn chairs set out, but we walked into the backyard to find it nicely decorated with our family cheering and clapping. The champagne was popped, and nearly everyone said a toast to celebrate us. We then indulged in some flower-decorated cupcakes my parents brought as a replacement for the wedding cake.
Following the reception, we went to our house for round two where we found our kitchen table redecorated as a sweetheart table to enjoy our wedding day dinner together. For the remainder of the evening, we hung out with Eric and three other close friends we were okay to be in close proximity with for margaritas and celebrations. As going to a hotel was out of the question, Richard and I spent our wedding night at our house in our own bed.
Reflections
To me, this goes to show that all these things that Pinterest, wedding blogs, or what other people tell you that you "need to do," really don’t matter. What matters is you are marrying the love of your life, the person you love so much that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. It makes sense that couples want to make a big splash for their wedding day to celebrate this big milestone, but at the same time, the true meaning can sometimes be buried with all the little details like the perfect dress, wedding colours, table decorations, and the list goes on.
And yes, attitude really does matter! But, it is okay to have your moments, to cry and be angry at the world (especially when something completely out of your control brings all your plans, hopes, and dreams to a halt), and to think about how life is not fair. What got me through those moments was remembering that my family and friends have their health, and that we aren’t losing our marriage, just the fancy party which we will still get one year from now when it’s hopefully safe to travel. Perspective is key!
This was definitely not your traditional wedding day, but come to think it, Richard and I aren’t traditional people. The day was still amazing regardless of all of these things that did not go as originally hoped. There were so many people that just wanted to celebrate us and went out of their way to make the day special or be there for moral support. To those reading this, you know who you are, and thank you!
Not many people can say they got married during a pandemic when the world was shut down, which makes our story even more unique and shows the strength of our love and commitment to each other. Now that the emotional rollercoaster is over, Richard and I are in sheer bliss as newly weds and happier than ever as Mr. & Mrs. Myers.
This is amazing. Congratulations and thank you for sharing.
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